My Switch is Broken. Also, I’m a fat failure.

So I’ve had on and off days since I last wrote. Yesterday was a major off day. So I’m drinking 3 ballerina tea all day today to get rid of it.  I really feel like my diet switch is broken. It was “on” for weeks and now it’s been “off” for the same amount of time! Ugh… Today it’s back on…  I’ve eaten so far a banana, coffee, one cup of salad and 3 tablespoons of guacamole so approx 500 calories. And the tea, which is 0 calories.

I’ve been sick and in bed all weekend. Such a bummer. Still feeling a little shitty today but I plan on going to HIIT regardless. Although I’m terrified the tea will take effect during the class! That would not be fun at all.

 I’m going away from Thursday-Sunday. This poses a problem. A dietary problem. It’s a bachelorette weekend so there is going to be a lot of alcohol and a lot of food. I’m planning to pack some almonds with me as snacks for the road and whatnot. Mom and I had a discussion about this last night. If it truly is a lifestyle change, a change of location shouldn’t destroy my efforts. I’ll do my best to abide by a 3-bite rule or something to that effect during meals. I want to eat a little less so I can save my calories for drinking.

I honestly feel like such a fat failure. I was so motivated a month ago. Clothes were starting to get loose on me, I could see some muscle definition. Now I feel so negative. I tried on a new dress I bought a few weeks back that was a little loose and now it’s kind of snug. NOT FUN! I need to get positive about this again. Hopefully I’ll be feeling ok by Thursday so I won’t feel so damn self conscious during the trip and can have fun.

So I fell of the horse. Time to get back on.


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